Gentle Readers all,
Sunday's post is right below this one. I wasn't able to post on Sunday. What a day...
In other news, my friend Woodstock (aka Pinky) received a Satisfactory on his prospectus hearing for his doctoral dissertaion. This is a Good Thing because the only other choice was Unsatisfactory. I'm sure the lovely outfit I helped pick out made all the difference...right Weltha, keep on thinkin' that...that's how it works...anyway, there is rejoicing and mad abandon...
Woodstock told me on Saturday that I should post something I had just told him. And it's this--whoever it's for: You'll never find the right man (or right woman) if you're hangin' with the wrong one. There just isn't room in your life. You actually have to get the wrong person out of your life before the right one can come in...I had turned around and butted in to a conversation involving a total stranger.
This cute young girl was on the phone behind me patiently and calmly trying to explain to her boyfriend that she worked hard all week at the hospital (she was in her lemon-yellow scrubs at the time) and she just wanted to do something with him. Anything. Apparently, he had recently begged her to get back together with him--and now...he "just didn't have time" or he "just didn't want to do anything." For no reason. After she got off the phone, I waited a minute and told her that I was a total stranger and it was so none of my business and if she wanted, she could feel free to tell me to take a major hike, but that she didn't deserve that--she deserved a whole lot better--and that the sooner she kicked this one down the proverbial stairs of life and out the door, she would be that much closer to meeting someone who would be enthusiastic about spending time with her. I figure--and I may be wrong--that she is his "last resourt" booty call and he has someone else on the side...or as the main event.
I didn't mention that (yes, I still have all my teeth left...), but I did say that I doubted she was getting what she wanted. And she said she felt lonely, empty, and angry. Who knows what she'll do--but I hope she will cut this one loose...she didn't sound like a girl asking for something impossible of a man with no time...it's just that he had no time for her...
I am in major detoxification--and that is part of the reason I have felt so irritable lately, why my eyes are burning, and why my mood has suddenly turned...darker...So...it was 3 quarts of filtered water today at work...and I may eat very lightly tomorrow. As in very lightly.
The holidays are so full of stress and wackitude--even I am feeling it. I say "even I" because I don't get mixed up in lots of events and parties and activities and buying a bunch of gifts...and I'm feeling some of the...turbulence.
This isn't much about food tonight. Or exercise. Or the lack of exercise. It's just that I relize food is sometimes a metaphor--and sometimes a visual representation--of my emotional life. Maybe of all our emotional lives...And I also am uncomfortably aware that my friend with the swollen up leg, headed to the doctor tomorrow, trumps my "watch Weltha lose weight."
I enjoy this blog...but it's not curin' cancer...it's not the magic bullet to life's ills and difficulties.
And some night soon, I will take myself for a little ride to see the Christmas lights...and drink a glass of eggnog...and maybe have a piece of pumpkin cheesecake...
And maybe some of the turbulence I feel is coming from not damping down what I'm experiencing with a bag of M&Ms.
Maybe. Maybe so.
The totally shame-free, actual-life, real-time blog where I tell all, show all--without nagging or whining (all right--maybe a little whining...)--in my attempt to stop being a fat middle-aged woman who avoids mirrors and clothing stores and start being a woman at home in her body...brought to you by a real woman, the Independent Weltha Herself. I won't give any advice, and I'm not asking for any--just companionship on my journey.
Every day...a new post. Every other week...my real weight. Every month...new pictures.
For every woman who has ever tried to just lose the extra weight and feel good...overall and about herself...and who lived to tell the story.