The totally shame-free, actual-life, real-time blog where I tell all, show all--without nagging or whining (all right--maybe a little whining...)--in my attempt to stop being a fat middle-aged woman who avoids mirrors and clothing stores and start being a woman at home in her body...brought to you by a real woman, the Independent Weltha Herself. I won't give any advice, and I'm not asking for any--just companionship on my journey.

Every day...a new post. Every other week...my real weight. Every month...new pictures.

For every woman who has ever tried to just lose the extra weight and feel good...overall and about herself...and who lived to tell the story.


Monday, December 13, 2010

Day the 34th (Sunday...posted late)

First things first...I didn't get to post Sunday, ergo I am posting for both Sunday AND Monday today.

And again, welcome to the new followers. On top of it all, I love going to my stats and seeing that I have followers in Sweden and France--Eveline and Karin, thank you, sweeties!

Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY...what a day. Let's just say that I found out that despite all my careful eating that I...no, not that I gained weight, but that I need my bipolar meds. This is painful because I have to confess to...let's say not telling all the truth. I have been off my meds--because I was doing so much better. And it's true...the better I eat, the better I feel emotionally.

But the truth also is that I cannot be off my meds at this time. I may be detoxifying, I may be lacking micronutrients, I may just by golly need those meds no matter what. Anyway, I found out on Sunday that I needed them--and when I realized that it was back to the doctor's I go, I burst into tears and didn't stop crying for a while.

So...it's not "salvation by nutrition" as much as I would like that. Yes, it is really important that I eat well because my meds work so much better. But I apparently need them--and always have. I remember 20+ years ago when I "ate right" over a long period of time. I "did" much better...but there were some significant lapses that I didn't really think about until today. Of course not. Who wants to think of lapses when you have publicly posted that you are Just Doing So Well?

Anyhoodle, it was sobering...and embarrassing. Because I did manage to do this in a public setting all right now enough of this I'm totally off this subject and moving right along...

I'm just saying that ol' smarty here found out a few things...

I ate at Pei Wei for the 3rd time in 3 days on Sunday. Some of my fellow Choir women went out to eat and we chose Pei Wei. Fine with me and I got "something different" on rice, with vegetables and tofu. Next time, though, it's one of the salads again. I just love fresh vegetables and salad-type things.

It's coleslaw at work today--that makes it sound like a big vat of coleslaw and that's it. No, there is a little "vat" of coleslaw in the somewhat meager salad bar. I love this coleslaw. The fact that I'm craving it must mean that I need it--it's not like craving a Hershey bar heated in the microwave until it's all melty. I've never done that but rumor has it that it's...stupendous. Yeah, and too many of those and Weltha here will be stupendous...and not in a good way, either. Oh, and I smelled beef briskit and pulled pork BBQ today in the cafeteria, and went on my way with my broccoli ("she still hates raw broccoli but will eat it for its goodness"), and spinach ("I'm telling you again...raw spinach leaves are fun to eat") and...coleslaw. The coleslaw and I are having a private moment so leave us alone...

My friend Woodstock--with whom we bought beautiful clothes for his prospectus hearing today--is having his hearing right now. Total coolness, and I expect to be posting The Happy Results very soon.

Dang, but I need you all today. Really, yesterday was not my finest hour, and I am recovering (much faster than if I had been imbibing Coca-Cola and suckin' down the Tater Tots...but still).

Will post later today--perhaps this evening--about today's part in the journey...

Many, many thanks to Patrick B for his encouragement. I tell ya, this guy is the BOMB as far as Literature Studies go--and he has been the major encouragement these last days. Also, big love to Scott the Organist and a special shout-out to Jeff the Choirmaster. Love you two. Love you. Love. You.

And now...I can haz a date wif coleslaw. Weltha + Coleslaw = True Love

Independently,

Weltha

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Thanks for havin' your say! You're an INDEPENDENT WOMAN (or an INDEPENDENT MAN!), too! Just remember, this is an ADVICE-FREE ZONE...so please send the advice back to its room, and PLEASE comment about what you've done or just join in the ray-rah!

Independently,

Weltha