The totally shame-free, actual-life, real-time blog where I tell all, show all--without nagging or whining (all right--maybe a little whining...)--in my attempt to stop being a fat middle-aged woman who avoids mirrors and clothing stores and start being a woman at home in her body...brought to you by a real woman, the Independent Weltha Herself. I won't give any advice, and I'm not asking for any--just companionship on my journey.

Every day...a new post. Every other real weight. Every pictures.

For every woman who has ever tried to just lose the extra weight and feel good...overall and about herself...and who lived to tell the story.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Day the 32nd (FRIDAY)

Reader, I forgot.

Yes, I forgot yesterday to holler at me.

I was just thinking yesterday that I had seen myself in a window and thought, "Who is that overweight woman?" And then realized it was Weltha...

Is there anything harder than seeing what appears to be a very unattractive person who is not taking care of personal grooming, weight, dress, overall appearance--and realizing that yes, it is you?

I didn't think so.

But that is why I am doing this. I am going to lose this weight. And when I have lost it, I will also be very healthy.

I really feel better. My emotions are more stable. I feel positive.

This is a good thing.

Will I be skinny by Christmas? No. Not at all. I won't "be there" by Christmas. Or by New Year's. Or by Valentine's Day. And that's all right with me. This is a journey--and I am enjoying it like nobody's business.

I was thinking about Christmas, as it turns out. I miss my parents, but it's not some terrible grinding sorrow. I miss them, and I enjoy the memories I have of them. I smell the pine boughs decorating the outside of the public library--and I'm that elementary girl going with her dad to get the Christmas tree.

I smell Christmas spices, and I am a Junior High girl helping her mom make the fruit cake that she made every year. (and when I say fruitcake, I mean this moist, spicy cake with fruit she had candied herself, dates and nuts and a rich layer of sauce made of ground fresh coconut, coconut milk, lemon juice and sugar, all cooked into this stuff that made me was the most excellent fruit cake...and we devoured it.)

I go to a church event, and I am again that high school girl going to sing in a city-wide Christmas program on a Sunday afternoon, and then going with my parents just before twilight to get corndogs because that is what I wanted, and that was my reward for doing a good job in the program--I got to pick something fast and easy for my mom.

So although I do miss Mom and Dad, I am so deeply thankful for those memories. They are with me today, resonating in each holiday's celebration and adding to my deep love of the Advent season.

It really is Joy to the World for me.

Love you all--thank you for joining me on the journey....



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Thanks for havin' your say! You're an INDEPENDENT WOMAN (or an INDEPENDENT MAN!), too! Just remember, this is an ADVICE-FREE please send the advice back to its room, and PLEASE comment about what you've done or just join in the ray-rah!