The totally shame-free, actual-life, real-time blog where I tell all, show all--without nagging or whining (all right--maybe a little whining...)--in my attempt to stop being a fat middle-aged woman who avoids mirrors and clothing stores and start being a woman at home in her body...brought to you by a real woman, the Independent Weltha Herself. I won't give any advice, and I'm not asking for any--just companionship on my journey.

Every day...a new post. Every other real weight. Every pictures.

For every woman who has ever tried to just lose the extra weight and feel good...overall and about herself...and who lived to tell the story.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Day the 141st - Day 13 of 30 Days of Truth

Yes, it did. A whole lot better.

Remember yesterday that I said I had actually made the Vegan Dark Chocolate Mousse and it wasn't all that dark or mousse-like and it didn't taste all that chocolate?

Remember also how I said I wondered if letting it sit overnight might make it taste better?

It sat overnight. It tasted better. A whole lot better.

That Vegan Mousse--made with tofu and soy milk and carob and cocoa and stevia--isn't where I want it yet, but it is indeed better...and I think I know the path forward. The path is named "vanilla." I'm convinced of it...and maybe a better cocoa...we'll see.

Yes, I had a bagel this morning. An Asiago Veggie Sandwich. I know...I just didn't want to get up and go to work this morning. I mean, I like my work--it's getting more complex which means it is getting more interesting for me. But I was tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired, and the alarm woke me (again...) and I just didn't want to get up. So...I promised myself that I would get a bagel IF I got out of bed RIGHT THEN. And I did...and got the bagel sandwich. And the green iced tea that I looooooove.

And lunch was the salad bar, complete with loads of wonderful's so inexpensive and so...right there. It's such a good deal.

Tonight is my Lenten Study and I am wondering about having something to eat before I go OR waiting until I get home and having something...I may wait...

Last night, I didn't do much--I mean, I did some cleaning after going to the library and the next thing I knew, that was about it. I went to bed, started watching a movie (about the famous Scarlet Pimpernell of the Vatican--Monsignor Hugh O'Flaherty who smuggled Jews and downed Allied troops in and out of the Vatican under the noses of the Nazis...played by Gregory Peck who was much handsomer than the original Hugh O'Flaherty. And the evil Nazi was played by Christopher Plummer, who plays such a great bad guy...with Pius XII played with great subtlety by Sir John Gielgud...) and I fell asleep...but at least I had done the cleaning, put the trash out, washed my face...and now, I was in bed, watching a DVD...

And now...on to Day 13 of 30 Days Of Truth.

And the prompt is:

Something You Appreciate Now That You Didn't In The Past

That one's easy: Writing Letters and Notes Which My Mom Instilled In Me...

Growing up, I loved Christmas (and used to pray that I wouldn't die on Christmas Eve and miss my gifts...) but I hated writing thank-you notes. I'm just surprised I didn't pray that I might actually go on to my reward AFTER receiving the gifts but BEFORE Mom could sit me down and make me write every last person...

I thought it was a major waste of time--I mean, I had already said thank you to the person who gave me the gift, just after I tore the paper off and just before I picked up the next gift...

I thought my mom was...a pain, as do most children at some point. But year after year, whenever I received a gift at Christmas, birthday or some special event such as a graduation, I had to write The Notes.

Fast forward many years, and now, I am reading Miss Manners about doing the same thing. Only this time, it's a Thank-You letter, a Condolence Letter, and who knows what...

And the next thing you knew, I was investing in Crane's stationery and writing...thank yous, condolence letters, and heaven knows what else.

And I appreciate Mom for making me do this, because people thank me for the notes and letters.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that!"

Oh, yes I did. Someone has bought me a gift--picked it out, purchased it, wrapped it, given it to me. Yes, I needed to write a note.

Someone has died...and the family member whom I know is in need of being surrounded by community. Somehow, a phone call isn't permanent enough. Often, trying to say something isn't such a great idea because people need to be alone when they "hear" what you have to say. An email? Well, who prints those out? And the sentiment is lost.

But a letter...that can be kept, put in a file, put in a pigeonhole in the desk, put in a scrapbook...and read again. It says that someone cared...and it says it again and again.

So I am thankful for Mom...I am deeply appreciative that she sat me down, once my handwriting became readable and forced me to write notes.

I developed some skill in writing them. People thank me for them--I know people save them. They speak sympathy, compassion, gratitude and thanksgiving in a way that nothing else does.

The irony is that I seldom receive a thank-you note (and sometimes, I don't end up writing them when I should), and I have never received a condolence letter. Lots of cards with the statement "I'm sorry for your loss" and I'm sure it is sincere, but nothing that helps in the difficult moments...

Yes, I really didn't appreciate Mom's labors with me, but I definitely do now.



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