The totally shame-free, actual-life, real-time blog where I tell all, show all--without nagging or whining (all right--maybe a little whining...)--in my attempt to stop being a fat middle-aged woman who avoids mirrors and clothing stores and start being a woman at home in her body...brought to you by a real woman, the Independent Weltha Herself. I won't give any advice, and I'm not asking for any--just companionship on my journey.

Every day...a new post. Every other real weight. Every pictures.

For every woman who has ever tried to just lose the extra weight and feel good...overall and about herself...and who lived to tell the story.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Day the 136th - Day 8 of 30 Days Of Truth

And...we're BACK!

Oh, that makes me feel like Larry King, except not for being a guy or married a bazillion times or so old...

Last night, I had 3 pieces of soy cheese for dinner...and after that, didn't have anything else. I get home at night, and after an "event," I am often soooooooo tired that I don't feel like eating. So I don't.

I suppose it beats compulsive, constant eating, but I am working at leveling out toward eating regularly and eating healthy foods, but not eating too much.

This morning, I made myself 25 minutes late for work (and no one gets on me; I just adjust my hours by working later and/or having a shorter lunch. But it actually has something to do with this blog: all I wanted to do was get some peppermint tea (which I did...and have had one cup...) and get some Fage Greek Yogurt. up early (5:55 am), got ready for work, and headed out at about 7 am. Plenty of time and still get there a bit early.

Off I drove to my favorite "I can get Fage" store...and they had the peppermint tea (Bigelow's Peppermint). I even got some more almond butter (not the lovely East Wind because Akin's wasn't open....)

Then I wended my way over to the yogurt and alas, there was no Fage in the large size. I mean, to have nearly the same amount, I would have had to spend much more on several small containers.

So...I drove ALL the way to the "other" store--about...4.5 miles (and of course, gas is soooooooooo cheap...ha!) and bought my Fage yogurt (not the 0% fat...doggone it...) and headed off to work.

What I did for love...breakfast is grapes this morning because by golly, I am losing this weight. I am determined to be at or under 200 sometime in early June. I like being thinner...I like being healthy...I like wearing cute clothes...I like not having my joints hurt or my head ache...

Yes, I'm at the point where I have to just grit my teeth and keep eating right because I know what the outcome will be. Period. This is the hard time. Very hard.

And now, on to Day 8 of 30 Days Of Truth. And the prompt is:

Something You Wish You Hadn't Done In Your Life

Oh sheesh-a-palooza! I really don't like some of these. So...I will pick one that's not too "yikes, Weltha, what were you thinking?"

I chose not to take a year abroad when I was a college Junior.

I could have spent a year in Madrid (I was taking Spanish Literature at the time), and for a variety of reasons...not wanting to leave my friends, not wanting to leave my church, just being...timid...I didn't go.

It wouldn't have been easy to fit my major (biology) in, but I could have. And I would have seen a beautiful city I have never seen yet. I would have been able to travel in Europe and in the UK very easily. I would be fluent in Spanish today because of it. I would have had a great reason to save and travel much more. I would have made friends in Spain itself and friends among other international students--particularly from my own college--studying in Madrid.

I really regret making that decision. I don't mean that good things didn't happen to me--they did. I had a great roommate my Junior year. I took both Milton and High Renaissance Art in Italy. I loved those two classes. I took Chemistry both semesters and received an A each time--I don't know if I could have managed doing that in Spanish. I loved my Chemistry labs.

But I wish I had at least considered the possibility seriously as something good rather than something I was afraid--in my lack of understanding about God and His nature--that I would "have" to do, and that would make me lonely and unhappy. I just think it would have been a very good thing for me to do--or at least to consider.

Since that time, I have only traveled abroad once. Oh, I've been to Canada and Mexico and Belize. But across an ocean? Only once. And I am fairly sure that if I had spent that year in Madrid, I would have made travelling abroad a priority, particularly when I was young and unencumbered...

I think what I regret the most is that I chose to be closed-off from something that could have been adventurous and wonderful. What I needed at that age was the ability to step out on my own instead of being so dependent on the decisions of others. It is the choice to be unwilling that I regret more than anything at all...
This just in...I have been drinking peppermint tea, and I can definitely say that it calms an upset stomach...either the stomach itself or it will calm down an upset colon (yes, IBS...) It works. Peppermint is also good for babies who have colicky stomachs and the tendency to not keep food down.
And now, you know!



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