The totally shame-free, actual-life, real-time blog where I tell all, show all--without nagging or whining (all right--maybe a little whining...)--in my attempt to stop being a fat middle-aged woman who avoids mirrors and clothing stores and start being a woman at home in her body...brought to you by a real woman, the Independent Weltha Herself. I won't give any advice, and I'm not asking for any--just companionship on my journey.
Every day...a new post. Every other week...my real weight. Every month...new pictures.
For every woman who has ever tried to just lose the extra weight and feel good...overall and about herself...and who lived to tell the story.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Day the 139th - Day 11 of 30 Days Of Truth
And...it's Sunday (Sunday...Sunday...Sunday). I was Lector at St. Jerome's this morning, which--for the uninitiated in liturgical ways--means I'm the one who reads the scriptures. Now, I don't read all of them. I read an Old Testament passage first; then, we chant the Psalm, which is a lot cooler thing to do than you might think; then I read a New Testament passage from an Epistle. Finally Bishop reads from the Gospel. And yes, we read passages appointed for the day. A visitor told me I did a really nice job--that meant a lot. Charles F told me that he was glad I am at St. J's--that meant a lot too. The Choir did a good job. Trust me, I'm sure Jeff the Choirmaster felt it meant a lot to him! I'm sure it meant a lot to Bishop. And of course, it means a lot to us that we did an okay job. I had a lovely bowl of...yogurt+ for breakfast this morning and then got myself a big Blackberry Jasmine iced tea but no bagel. And left the tea in the car...boo, hiss... And after church, had 1 1/2 deviled eggs, very good. And then to Mexicali for lunch with choir and friends and had a very good time. Eric, Preston, Havah, Kathy the Cantor, and me. What a fun bunch!! I had a thing of guacamole, which made me very happy. Oh, and water with lime in it. And now, I am here...I very well may make the Vegan Dark Chocolate Parfait today...I'm hoping I will. It's mostly "stuff"--oh, actually, it's ALL stuff--that is good for me...soy and cocoa and well, it's all good... And I will report tomorrow on whether or not it's great or if it is fairly awful. If it's good, I'll post the recipe. It's Sunday so ON PURPOSE, I'm not unpacking any more unless I just want to. I may get rid of my old electric blanket even though it still works because I have a very nice one I have used only one year, and it would be good to use the new, updated model. The reason it's hard to part with the old one is that my mom bought it for me when I was a kid (and yes, it still works!) and I remember the first time we used it, how she turned it up to level 5 to warm the bed, and then turned it down. It was so nice to be really warm, and that blue blanket is so tied up with Mom...She bought it because my little bedroom was really cold, and it made me feel so comfortable and cared-for. It's really hard to get rid of--it is a symbol and an actual emblem of my mother's love and care for me. There is not, I don't think, a single "single person" who does not miss that someone cared for them and made their physical and emotional comfort a priority. Ah, Mom... Yes, I miss my mom... And now, Day 11 of 30 Days Of Truth. And the prompt is: Someone Or Something You Could Definitely Live Without I don't want to pick a someone because I find that cruel to another human being and despite the fact that I get all het up on Facebook sometimes, I do not want to write that there is some person I could live without. However, I think the something that I could live without is the decay of kindness and elegance in life, and the sad triumph of vulgarity and cheapness and general crudity I see so often. I'm certain I'm not the only person who feels this way, but I deeply dislike such cant phrases as "take it to the next level" when discussing the intricate dance of relationship between two people who hope to and indeed do love one another. The "therapy generation's" tendency to air its personal grievances and lash out at others, pretending that it's all a part of being "open and honest" grieves me. I don't believe in hiding pain and sorrow until the person experiencing them feels like disappearing, but sometimes, I think we "share" in the wrong place and in the wrong way. I've done this. I don't like it. I'm trying to stop. And even though I am known to cuss now and again, there are times people are so crude, so vulgar, so common that life seems deeply cheapened and poverty-stricken. I can do without movies positioned at 8th-grade bathroom humor. I can do without reality TV that seems to exalt the very lowest and poorest aspects of human nature. I can live without a world in which love is exchanged for "getting laid," where nobility is traded in for sarcasm and mockery, and where knowledge is replaced with willful ignorance. I can live without a world where position, power and posessions are exalted over becoming human, finding your mission in the world, and making a difference. I miss a world of kindness, courage, gentleness and honor. And I just realized that, in the words of a cliche, I need to be the change I want to see... Independently, Weltha