The totally shame-free, actual-life, real-time blog where I tell all, show all--without nagging or whining (all right--maybe a little whining...)--in my attempt to stop being a fat middle-aged woman who avoids mirrors and clothing stores and start being a woman at home in her body...brought to you by a real woman, the Independent Weltha Herself. I won't give any advice, and I'm not asking for any--just companionship on my journey.

Every day...a new post. Every other real weight. Every pictures.

For every woman who has ever tried to just lose the extra weight and feel good...overall and about herself...and who lived to tell the story.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Day the 131st - Day 3 of 30 Days of Truth

30 Days of Truth

Okay, I don't have the 30 Days of Truth logo with me...I'm at the library, blogging away...Just pretend it's here and go with it...

But first, I had yogurt+ last night for dinner and yummy it was...I love the walnuts (and their Omega-3s...) and the blueberries are...okay, not my favorite yet, and we love honey and cashew butter and Fage Greek yogurt...yes, yes we do.

Today, I am going to have grapes at lunch, which turned into breakfast-lunch and that's okay. I'm back to nothing-but-fruit-until-noon. Why?

Well, because that's how I eat unless I'm being careless. AND...I need more fruit and vegetables--always. But mostly because....I bought a set of scales last night. And my "old" scales may have been set too low, but I got on both last night (not the best try this at home, the "getting on at night" thing) and also this morning, and I weighed...more than the 222 I weighed during the move. Again, it may be that my old scales were set too low. It could be temporary fluctuation (and I do think I'm holding some fluid; my amber ring went on a wee bit tight today...) and it could also be that Queen of the Bagels has gained a pound or two. I do not like that. And I know better than to eat bagels and cream cheese day after day after day. It's a great treat once every week or so, but not daily. So, I'm back to eating as I am convinced I should--"should" in terms of what is best for me, not some arbitrary rule. And "should" in terms of "most of the time," realizing there is time off to stretch it out a bit to have some foods I don't eat as a general rule but wish to have for a celebration--like my birthday (September 11--yes, that September 11...I love having my birthday on a day that has such powerful meaning in this nation. Good job, Mom!) This means that when my birthday rolls around, I can have some cake or pie or ice cream or pudding--not all of them. And my new guideline is two bites. Too much sugar sends me into orbit...and then it's back on the prescription meds I will need to go. And I do not want to do that!

I am free to eat anything I want--but I choose to eat things as a rule that are good for me and lead to better health (and weight loss. Let's be real, here. That wardrobe of cute, adorable, stylish clothes is callin' my name...)

And in other news, today I went to Tuesday Morning and found a great pillow for my bed. A "sleeping on" pillow, not a "decorative" pillow--not yet...and talked with the woman at the register who had an interesting accent, and when she said that she was Russian, I greeted her in Russian (I know a few phrases here and there) and she said I spoke very well and pronounced it all beautifully--"I hear no accent!" And of course, that felt sooooooo nice. What a lovely thing to happen on a weekend.

All right...on to Day 3 of 30 Days of Truth. Today's prompt is:

Something You Hope To Do In Your Life

What? Just one? All right, here it is.

I want to teach English at a Christian college or university.

Now, why is this?

Before I answer this, I really try not to use my blog to preach at people--if I wanted to do that, I would have a different type of blog and "advertise" it that way. However, this is my blog about me, the Real Weltha, and I am a Christian. I realize I have at least one person following this blog who is defo not a Christian and indeed opposed to Christianity. Fair enough. I'm not trying to convert you, but I am trying to be true to who I am. I say this not to defend myself but to reassure my readers and followers that although I am not trying to pull the ol' bait and switch where I promise one thing but deliver another, I am also determined to be true to who I am. And I am a Christian. First, last, and always. I am a believer in and a follower of Jesus. Period. That's Weltha. It's how I identify myself to myself.

All right. We have that settled. First, I want to teach English on the college/university level. I love English--by that, I mean literature. And for me, primarily English literature. I love Milton and Shakespeare, and I love the Victorian era. I love those folks. I mean, I am wackadoodle ecstatic about Milton, Shakespeare, and the Victorians. And I can inspire students to feel the same way--I inspire people. I inspire my students. That is my gift.

In addition, I want to teach English with a strong background in film theory and film history. Film and literature go nicely together. I love film. I might even love it every bit as much as literature. I want a real academic background in film theory and history. I love that stuff--I mean, I am just wild about it. Mention Sergei Eisenstein or George Bluestone or Andrew Saris, and I'm all sorts of happy.

And I want to teach at a Christian college or university because I have found that in an openly Christian setting, I teach from the very deepest place in myself. And I change lives.

I know how that sounds..."full of yourself, aren't you?" "Just how big IS your big ego?" "Planning on ruling the world, too, while you're at it?"

No, but this--we have found--is the gift of God within me. I change lives. I don't try to, I am not aware of it, but it happens. I am mystified but have decided to accept it and just realize that God works in and through my life whether or not I understand it. I don't understand how this computer works, but I'm glad it does (or I would be doing this blog with flag signals and only a few of you would ever get to read it...). I don't understand how God works through me to inspire and change, but He does, and I am grateful.

This is the purpose of my life--to teach. I'm not "teaching" at the moment in a classroom, but I will be again. In the meantime, I am teaching, teaching, teaching every chance I get. I taught a woman at the grocery store today about the value of careful eating. I taught someone at church that God loves her and cares very much about every detail of her life and wants to be involved in all aspects of her being. I teach. I can't stop it. And I don't want to. It is that for which I was made.

This is actually what I will be doing one day. I don't know the timing of it, but I continue to move forward in this direction. I am doing my best to understand what my part is and to do it, and I am trying as hard as I can to actually do my part. And I know God is busy doing what only God can do. I would write "what only He/She can do," but this makes some of my readers crazy... ;-)

So that is what I hope to do one day. And my hope does not dissapoint me...

As always, thank you for ridin' the Bus of Weight Loss with me...people, I cannot do this without you.

Can. Not. Do. It.



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