I love the book of Ecclesiastes...especially the part about "a time to dance and a time to mourn."
Today is both of those.
It's a time to dance because I found a great place to live, good price and just all the things I needed so much. It's all working out--and I can move away from a place where I have known much unhappiness as my life continues to change and I become a "new Weltha"--not just in body, but at least in that. I will be moving out on or before February 28, and moving into the new place on March 7. Many thanks to Alyce (aka The Pearl) for giving me a place to stay for a week. And for having no problem with the cats being part of it all. Mimsey and Horatius thank her and all of you, as do I.
But it's also a time to mourn. Our St. Jerome's cantor, Kathy C., just lost her father from this life. It's never an issue of where people are for me; it's the issue of where they aren't. And although he had had many health problems, I would imagine that she would want him back, as the healthy vigorous man she knew as a child. Maybe I'm off here, but I know that's what I have wanted with my own mom--for her to be back, not as woman with health problems at the end of her days, but as the young, vigorous, strong woman I knew growing up.
So tomorrow, the St. Jerome's Choir (or as many of us as can be there) will sing at Kathy's father's service. I will be one of them--it's not possible for everyone, but it's possible for me.
And here I am, being very serious. Every person and every family is different, but I know that for me, nothing prepared me for the death of my parents. You only get two chances to do this--and one is your only father, and one is your only mother.
So...although I am happy (and relieved. very relieved) about having a great situation to move into, watching the details fall into place, I remember that a family is missing a relative, a woman is missing her husband, my church friend is missing her father--and all of them are dealing with a new world without him.
For me, a time to dance. For them, a time to mourn.
And I had another veggie bagel this morning and a cup of the blackberry-jasmine tea. Somehow, my blog on weight-loss and what I'm eating and whether I can force myself to exercise doesn't seem all that important. At least not today.
So...rejoice with me (and I know you will)--and some of you may also pause for a moment to think of or to pray for Kathy and her family and even to mourn for them.
There is a time for all things. Today is a time to remember that one life ends and a new life for the family as they learn to live without that person has just begun.
Tomorrow, I will be my usual sassy smarty self. I will probably do my shout-out to Woodstock.
But not today. I want to be quiet now before the mystery that is death and the sanctity of the loss and sorrow that Kathy and her family know.
The totally shame-free, actual-life, real-time blog where I tell all, show all--without nagging or whining (all right--maybe a little whining...)--in my attempt to stop being a fat middle-aged woman who avoids mirrors and clothing stores and start being a woman at home in her body...brought to you by a real woman, the Independent Weltha Herself. I won't give any advice, and I'm not asking for any--just companionship on my journey.
Every day...a new post. Every other week...my real weight. Every month...new pictures.
For every woman who has ever tried to just lose the extra weight and feel good...overall and about herself...and who lived to tell the story.