The totally shame-free, actual-life, real-time blog where I tell all, show all--without nagging or whining (all right--maybe a little whining...)--in my attempt to stop being a fat middle-aged woman who avoids mirrors and clothing stores and start being a woman at home in her body...brought to you by a real woman, the Independent Weltha Herself. I won't give any advice, and I'm not asking for any--just companionship on my journey.

Every day...a new post. Every other real weight. Every pictures.

For every woman who has ever tried to just lose the extra weight and feel good...overall and about herself...and who lived to tell the story.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Days the 187th and 188th and Weigh-In WEDNESDAY

Oh, Reader, could the word lazy be applied to me?

No, it could not. It's just that this is a 4-day work week and ol' contract employee me has to work 40 hours over 4 days or only be paid for 32 hours. And call me a ridiculous nut about money, but I sort of like to pay my bills and have some extra.

I know. Such a sybarite - such a devotee of luxury...

What this means in terms of the blog is that I was just too doggone tired yesterday to write my blog...

Or, if you subscribe to Freudian Theory/Ridiculous Conspiracy theories, then I didn't write yesterday because subconsciously, I did not want to reveal my weight.

Knocking that in the head, here we go. Weltha and Her Weight In All Its Glory:


I know. I KNOW. At one point, I was down to 218. Still not a great weight for a 5'10" woman who is fine-boned, but it was the best so far.

Brownies, egg-nog (only one small container but hey!), artichoke dip, candy, Coca-Cola, hamburgers, and generally Katie-Bar-The-Door, and here I am, up 12 pounds from Thanksgiving. It's sorta near what my blog-friend Deana O'Hara of Redemption's Heart has reported. I think we're twins. I do.

By the way, a little shout-out and advertisement for Deana's blog: it's over to the right and it's wonderful. It's not a 'religion blog' but Deana is without question a Christian who apparently is reading my mail these days...Anyway, check her out. She's dandy.

Another shout out goes to my therapist Janis the Therapist (see how I did that? I know, I'm impressed, too) who encouraged me much today about my change in churches - that I'm moving ahead, not running away, and that I take with me all my wonderful St. Jerome's memories and great homilies and wonderful services and dear friends and huge fun. And it's not like the friends are under some Ban Not To Hang With Weltha Just Because She Has Moved Herself To Trinity. I so like that...Janis, you're the bomb.

Last night, I got home around 8:30 pm - yes, you read that right - and was just fried mentally. Fed the cats and then tried to round up a little food for myself. So...we had scrambled eggs with mushrooms and pepper rings, accompanied by some added mozarella cheese, and then some popcorn. The popcorn gave me great joy. All washed down with the ubiquitous mint iced tea.

The night before, I had Brussel Sprouts cooked with Balsamic Vinegar. I dunno, it just sorta occurred to me to try it, and I have to say that the BV cut the bitterness of the sprouts. I'm a sucker for anything made of cabbage or anything cabbage-like (I love how Brussel Sprouts look like doll-sized cabbages...) and I just threw the BV in, and they were wonderful. Over Christmas, Poodle served some Brussel Sprouts that had been sorta oven roasted and yes, they were lovely. Roasting any vegetable makes it more luscious...I'm a fan of luscious...

Today, I got up late so no food to take to work and it's just the point in the pay cycle where $$$ needed to go to gas for the car (why? so we can get to work and earn more pay...) so...I had nothing to bring to work BUT a big ol' mason jar full of mint iced tea and some candy from my Christmas Package from Sue Ellen the Friend and Librarian in Virginia. Yes, so very good for me, but I said this: it's only a few weeks out of the year that I have to work 40 hours in 4 days and if my eating is lousy, sue me. I can get back on track soon. As in...this weekend. Time to cook, time to clean, time to go to a movie.

Now that I'm finished with 30 Days of Truth and Advent Meditations, I thought, "I need to add to this doggone blog with something interesting that reveals Weltha and her Mind Thoughts." I take that phrase from this deeply weird guy who used to dog me on MySpace and wanted to correspond with me because, and I quote, "I love your mind thoughts." As opposed to my Elbow Thoughts, apparently. Or, in the German, my Elenbogen Thoughts. I may have spelled it wrong but due to the fact that I do not actually speak German, I claim no harm, no foul on this one.

So, I comment on A Tale of Two Moms. Mine, and then the woman in the UK who gave her 7 year old daughter a voucher for future liposuction after having given her a voucher for breast implants on her birthday, and having taught her to pole-dance at age 6...

Reading things like this do not give me Hope for Mankind. Or Womankind. Or Motherkind...I think back to my mom who, when I was in 6th grade (and 11 years old) and begged her to get my ears pierced "like all the other girls," told me that if I still wanted to have my ears pierced when I was 16, she would take me to Dr. Patterson "and have it done right."

Which is precisely what happened. And I wear earrings in my pierced ears to this day...

Mom was determined that I would have a childhood, filled with innocence, in which to grow up, imagine, dream, plan, and generally find my own way, rather than being forced into early adulthood.

I bless my mom's memory for that. I was a kid for a long time. Very innocent. Extremely idealistic. Not naive - just innocent. So innocent that when a Senior boy in my Chemistry class (taken during my Junior year) really liked me, I didn't catch on. Thus, allowing him a whole year of longing and idolizing me, culminating in my very first date my Senior year with this boy who liked me so much. And thought I was wonderful. What a lovely thing to have happen. He's not in my life any more, but thanks to Mom, I had this very nice experience.

And unlike the girls who get their first 'boyfriend' in elementary school and have their first kiss at age 10 and lose their virginity at age 12 and heaven knows what else happens by the time they graduate high school, I was not really sure the origin of babies when I finished 6th grade...focusing on the cool books I was reading and the use of my imagination to make a little house of tiny little hand-made clay bricks fashioned by my own small hands...

I don't want to spend time dogging this mother in the UK. Instead, I just wanted to applaud my own mom - now gone from us for almost 8 years - and encourage other moms who might read this to let their daughters be kids as long as possible. I am so glad my mother never tried to push me into dating or having a boyfriend or getting married 'to make me a grandmother.' I may be single today, but I'm not divorced or miserable or in an abusive marriage or conned into thinking that my value lies only in what 'some man' thinks of me or wants from me. I have great men friends. I have wonderful women friends.

Thanks, Mom. I had a childhood filled with books, day-dreaming, going to the river and learning to swim and fish and paddle a canoe, touring the Ozarks, talking with adults, and dreaming of my future. I had time to develop depth instead of thinking that my life equaled whatever Johnny thought of me. Nothing wrong with the Johnnies of this world or even wondering what they thought. It's just that life is more than believing that my sole value in the world is my sexual appeal and my ability to attract men. Thank you, Mom, for letting me be a kid. I would not trade that for anything.



1 comment:

  1. You are too sweet. Yes we are twins, you are far more brave. You posted your weight. giggle. I'm up 13 which brings me back over 200 and I'm not happy about that. I'm only 5'4. I'm round and kinda wobbly with arthritis. oh crimony, I'm a wheeble.

    Love your blog, fixed the bad link that wouldn't let me come over so now I can read again. yeah! -- You are going to have a spectacular year! Happy we met.


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