Day the 194th and NOT Weigh-In Wednesday

Yes, Reader, please let me alone on this one.

I know it was supposed to be a Weigh-In Wednesday. I know that.

But girlfriend here slept until 7:20 this morning and jumped out of bed, brushed teeth, washed face, leapt into clothing, fed cats like a whirlwind (Mimsey still isn't over it and is probably yelling her tiny head off...), and raced to work. Raced, I tell you. Raced.

Not my idea of the best way to start the day. I woke up around 3:15 and couldn't go back to sleep (this has stopped for the most part but on occasion...) so I watched the rest of a movie I had passed out during - We Were Soldiers with Mel Gibson. I don't know what you think of Mel, but my heart always goes out to him. He tries, I think, to be an observant Catholic and he also struggles with drinking and anger. I can relate (okay, not the drinking part, but you know what I mean.) I like Mel. I like most of - not all - his movies. In fact, Apocalypto is one of my favorites. And yes, I like We Were Soldiers. I like that it deals with both sides during Viet Nam - just as that 'advisory situation' was heating up in the mid-60s. Back when I first heard the name and wasn't quite sure where Viet Nam was or why we were there. It's not a great movie, but a good one.

Anyway, I watched the rest of the movie, trying not to notice that I was pretty much wide-awake for it. Then I watched most of the deleted scenes. Then, I went back to sleep at 5:45, figuring I'd sleep another 45 minutes to an hour at the most.

And woke up at 7:20. I may have to go back to setting an alarm, and that's something I have generally not had to do. I don't like alarms. They bother me. A whole lot.

So...weighing myself was not on the menu this morning. I'm surprised I got out the door with all my 'stuff.'

Last night, I got home late (thank you to having to work late because of Monday's FOREVER doctor appointment - and no blame to Dr. T or her fine workers) and just didn't feel like eating. What is UP with me?

I'm wondering if it's some sort of hidden stress. I'm missing a former friend (not dead. just absent from each other's lives. maybe permanently) and I wonder if it's this. I know it bothers me. I have had a few dreams about it.

It's hard having a friend you love to pieces but you get on each other's nerves and have trouble getting along at times or even being on the same page. We gave it 3 years, and now, no more. It hink we both tried really hard, and in the end, a hug said goodbye and that was that.

And it's time to move on. And I miss my friend. I doubt the friend is reading this, but if you are, it is you I am talking about. And even when I have been so angry with you I could spit, I still have loved you. I still do.

And I probably always will. And there's nothing either of us can do about it.

Independently,

Weltha