The totally shame-free, actual-life, real-time blog where I tell all, show all--without nagging or whining (all right--maybe a little whining...)--in my attempt to stop being a fat middle-aged woman who avoids mirrors and clothing stores and start being a woman at home in her body...brought to you by a real woman, the Independent Weltha Herself. I won't give any advice, and I'm not asking for any--just companionship on my journey.

Every day...a new post. Every other real weight. Every pictures.

For every woman who has ever tried to just lose the extra weight and feel good...overall and about herself...and who lived to tell the story.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Day the 179th and Day 13 of Advent

Reader, I ate them.

Remember how a few days ago I posted that I had changed my ways, that I was no longer eating junk? Remember that?

I wish you didn't.

Yesterday, I received a gift of a lovely holiday storage jar, partly filled with...candy. Some chocolate, some not.

Wisdom would dictate that either I give the candy away (not hard to do at work...) or keep a few choice pieces and give the rest away. Wisdom would have done that.

I ignored the socks off Wisdom. I ate a huge amount of sugar yesterday. I saved (because I was too sugared out to eat more...) a few pieces for this morning.

And I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to get out of bed, feed the cats, and get ready for work. No, I didn't. Not at all.

My joints hurt. Oh, and last night, I ate a HUGE bunch of pita chips and other assorted snacks of that ilk (do you like the word 'ilk' as much as I do? Mom was Scots-Irish and she used that word with great contempt - "and others of their ilk!" Boo, hiss, and snarl...) washed down with mint iced tea (okay, that at least doesn't have a bunch of junk in it...)

And today, I'm having salad bar for lunch because...because I was too tired to fix my own lunch today. That's why. That's exactly why.

Not a Good Food Day. No, it isn't.

Tonight will be leftovers and it will be White Bean Chili and salad. A perfectly good meal. I meant to make brownies last night but did NOT and I'm sort of glad because...because I probably would eat them. HOWEVER, I am going to do just that because I AM asking Paula (hello? Paula? Are you reading this?) to help install my towel bars. Friday pm, Dan the Stylist is my dinner guest before we go to the Choir Outing. Very much fun - Dan is ONE GREAT GUY. I'd like the joint to look semi-human before he comes over.

You know what I mean...

Tonight, I may go see a movie at the Dollar Theatre because it feels so naughty...after I go by Pearl's and drop something off for her.

And Friday, I'm taking 1/2 day off to get ready for Dan the Stylist to come to dinner and just generally to relax a little. JUST a little.

And now...Advent Meditation


Good golly Ned, I love Christmas music. I mean, the good stuff, although I am partial to "Up On the House Top" because I learned it in kindergarten with Miss Tilley. I loved shouting "Ho, Ho, Ho! Who wouldn't go?" and so on.

But it's the "serious" Christmas music that I love. Let me list my favorites in no particular order:

  1. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing - I love "God and sinners reconciled" and "born to raise the Sons of earth; born to give them Second Birth" and "risen with healing in His wings." That John Wesley - he wrote some fine lyrics. And I've been known to pop out a dandy descant on the last verse. This one sums up everything I believe. It's my #1 favorite.

  2. Joy to the World - "Joy to the World, the Savior reigns!" Just like #1 - and this is the great classic of the carols.

  3. O Little Town of Bethelehem - It's such a quiet little carol. "The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight."

  4. O Come, O Come, Emmanuel - did you know that the "key words" in the 7 verses are actually a code? The first letters (in Latin) form this phrase backwards, as a reply to "come, Emmanuel", again translated from the Latin: I am here. This is one of the ancient tunes - at least fairly ancient. I love it

  5. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear - I love those shepherds...

  6. Angels We Have Heard on High - the glorias are...glorious.

  7. O Come, All Ye Faithful - I learned the Latin in Junior High and have always loved this one. I want to be one of the Faithful...

  8. Rise Up, Shepherd, and Foller...a great 'Negro spiritual' in the words of my childhood - and it still gives me chills.

  9. Chil'ren, Go Where I Send Thee - just like #8. "One for the little bitty baby born, born, born in Bethelehem..."

  10. I Wonder as I Wander - when you're just one generation out of the Ozarks, this song resonates with you

  11. Do You Hear What I Hear? In honor of you, Nancy Patterson...

  12. The Whole Doggone Messiah, particularly but not limited to The Hallelujah Chorus - "the kingdom of this world is become the Kingdom of our Lord, and of His Christ - and He shall reign forever and ever." Says it just like I believe it.

  13. Bach's Magnificat. "The rich hath he sent away empty, but the hungry hath he filled with good things."

  14. Angels From the Realms of Glory - does anyone besides me know that one? I love it, too.

  15. Christians, Awake! Another of them that no one knows and I do...

  16. Lo! How A Rose E'er Blooming - yep, I like this one

  17. Break Forth, O Beauteous Heavenly Light - thank you, J. S. Bach.

  18. Rejoice, Rejoice Believers! Another one from my 1945 Episcopal Hymnal

  19. Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus - I heard a woman sing this a capella about 30+ years ago, and it haunts me still...

I've left stuff out. I know I have. But there is nothing that I love so much as this music. It transports me to the wonder of faith, the wonder of my childhood, the wonder of those years in which I groped unsteadily toward the God who was calling me. I am Weltha, Child of God, Beloved of Jesus Christ. This is my season.



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